Orientation Day 3

I finally completed all my ship re-qualifications today. I am cleared to stand watch and respond to all emergency actions on board Enterprise.... Hooray.

I was also informed that I am now cleared to participate in away missions.... damn.

Mr. Chekov informs me that my name is now on the rotating roster for Security members to go on away mission. He must have noticed the sweat pop out on my forehead and my hands start to shake, because then he told me that 'usually' Capt Kirk requests specific people and until he knows my name I am probably safe....whew.

Then the Russian bastard smiles and tells me that my Welcome Aboard Interview is scheduled for tomorrow at 0900. 2 hours AFTER we depart for Torrin VI on a mission to rescue 5 Federation scientists taken hostage after a coup.

So Kirk will have my name fresh in his mind when thinking of the away team.

Like I said when I first read my orders.... I'm F#cking Dead.

Hey, at least I will win the pool in the Armory. It got up to 700 credits.

Orientation Day 2

Well today i found out just what my job aboard Enterprise will actually be...other than dying for the glory of Captain Kirk at some unspecified stardate in the future. Chekov needs a new Armory Chief.

It seems that he was killed on the last away mission with Capt. Kirk... the shocked and surprised expression on my face fooled no one.

After my class on emergency evacuation procedures, I went down to the Armory to meet some of my crew. Not a bad bunch of guys and ladies. When i walked in they were taking bets on which red shirt was gonna get killed next.

i put 100 credits on myself.

What happened to the Inertia Stablizers????

Please, for the sake of all the is Holy, Please make the ship stop spinning.

i called down to Engineering 3 times and told them that obviously the inertia stablizers either on this deck or just in my quarters were off-line. did they believe me?? nooooooo. all they did was scream into the intercom that all systems showed 'green' in engineering. at the mention of 'green' i ran to the bathroom, another round of trying to force my stomach up through my throat insued. i swore i heard the engineering guys laughing. nah. why would they garner any enjoyment from my misery? God, i hate engineers.

since i was sick all morning, stomach flu was the diagnosis that i told Mr. Chekov. he told me to get down to sickbay and get checked out since i had 'orientation' the rest of the week.

great, another chance to be 'roto-rooted' by the best in the Fleet.

Dr. McCoy couldnt identify the specific type of flu i had, but he told me that if i went back to my quarters and took a shot of whiskey i would probably feel better. He muttered something about 'the hair of the dog that bit me'? i think he's senile, there arent any dogs on Enterprise.

well, after i crawled back to my quarters i found a pleasant surprise, MacKenzie had called and left a message. i knew we hit it off at the poker game.

I got mad skillz with the ladies... i bet i can even give Kirk a run for his money.

Never draw to an inside straight...

Damn all math using, odds calculating, green drink drinking engineers striaght to hell.

Looks like i was wrong about Cmdr Scott, not only did he enjoy a good drink now and then...and by 'now' i mean he seems to have bottles of booze hidden all over his body, and by 'then' i mean 'then he has more hidden in his clothes'.

we hadnt played one hand completely when he asked if we had any scotch... and not just scotch, but 400 year old scotch from some obscure township in Scottland that probably couldnt be found within 50 lightyears of here. Well we didnt have any of that, but luckily Chekov stopped by early and dropped of Russia's answer to water... vodka, and lots of it.

so there i was going shot for shot with Cmdr Scott and Ensign Chekov. Well shot for shot, until shot number 25, when i went 'shot for sick to my stomach'. Because shot number 25 was some Scottish Hell Drink that didnt even have a damn name.... Scott just called it "green". how sick is that?? There is no telling what was in that thing. I hope McCoy gets to SickBay early tomorrow, i'll probably be lying down in front of the hatch trying to make the ship stop spinning.

That green crap was sooo bad, that the next hand I went All In with a fabulous little straight.... well almost a straight... all i needed was a 9. just one teny tiny itsy bitsy little 9.... DAMN ALL 7 of clubs!!! I had a 7 already.... I needed a 9.

After Mr Scott raked in all HIS chips, he kindly informed me of the odds of getting said 9. And if i wasnt lying on my face in front of SickBay waiting for Dr. ColdFinger to bring me back to life I would have popped Scotty right in the face...

Dr. McCoy has cold freakin hands...

I got my physical today. Damn, McCoy's hands are cold. Comes from being 115 years old I guess. And how many times did he break his damn knuckles? It felt like a string of bowling balls being shoved up my ass. 'everything looks okay here.' thanks alot Doc, now can you sew my butt back closed. sheesh.

After my anal penetration training... I mean, after Doctor McCoy's thorough exam, I got a tour of Enterprise. Here I lucked out, Petty Officer Helen MacKenzie is soooo hot. I cant wait until we stand watch together. Maybe we can swing by the Botanical Garden and have a picnic.

Anyway, MacKenzie showed me around and introduced me to some of the rest of the crew. A lot of people are on the StarBase, but there were enough that had duty today that I even got a poker game going for later tonight. MacKenzie wants to play too, wish i had thought of strip poker first.

I met the Chief Engineer today, Lt Commander Scott. Nice enough officer, he personnally gave me a tour of Engineering. Well he started to anyway, we had no more gotten to the dilithium chamber when one of his engineers called him over for a 'miracle'. Everyone laughed at the word miracle. I didnt get it. MacKenzie told me I would the first time we went on a mission. (I bet the only miracle I care about is if I survive the first mission.)

I think I am going to eat some lunch and then go see how Chekov is doing with that vest before the poker game tonight. Cmdr Scott is going to play poker with us. Its a shame, I was going to get a little drunk, but I doubt if a Senior Officer will be a good sport about that....sigh.